Category: parenting

The way I see it babies are like aircraft carriers.

If you are unfamiliar with naval strategy, let me give you just enough to have this make any sense at all.  Aircraft carriers are the most powerful and effective combat unit the world has ever seen.  They are forward bases and long range attack platforms.  They can be used to bombard even inland targets for extended campaigns and they can move massive amounts of anything.  However, they require enormous logistics to keep them doing their thing.  A carrier is basically a floating city which means lots of supplies going to and from.  There is a barber, a dentist, a vending machine repairman, everything.  Also it needs to have its complement of fighters near its maximum to retain its punch.  Moreover, a carrier on its own is fairly easily brought down by submarine attack.  So it needs an escort of many smaller ships to form a perimeter.  A baby is like that too.

My baby son is the newest bestest thing in my life.  I love to spend time with him.  So when I visit a friend with my family, you bet your butt I want him with me.  He is the life of the party!  But the biggest factor in my family doing anything outside of our home is how to manage the baby.  Thanksgiving this year was a typical affair.  There was the diaper bag with its diapers and wipes.  There was a change of clothes in case of the mother lode.  And don't forget the rash cream.  A proper snack or two.  Oh, and a sippy cup with water or juice.  We decided not to try to stay past seven so our planning was kept relatively simple.  We did not bring the portable crib, the bottle, the baby's special milk mixture, the fan for white noise, the blankets, and the long pajamas.  And we did not have to procure a dark, quiet room in another family's home before we could leave ours.  Pretty much none of these items are going to be available at someone's home, and if any of these things are not with us, the entire operation is a bust.  Then once we are there, the wife and I must be in constant communication about the baby's status and whose turn it is to chase him around so that he does not hurt himself.  The effort is monumental.

But partying with my little aircraft carrier is worth it.